by Angela Perez

Not so long ago, in the midst of an emotional struggle, I posted a query of sorts on my personal Facebook page:

I know this is a heavy, personal question, but I am wondering – did any of you feel like you had or are having a mid-life crisis? Or at least an identity realignment or a revelation about your mortality in your 40s and 50s? Did you realize it when you were in the midst of it? Did it cause you to buy a sports car, change careers, bungee jump, join the Peace Corps, sleep with your secretary, or leave a relationship? Move to Tanzania? Become a forest ranger, take flying lessons, start a business? This middle age thing is heavy. It has hit me later in life.

I was surprised (and touched) by how many heartfelt, deeply personal responses I received. Here are a few of them:

It hit me when I got cancer. The first trip on a radiation table last year. I don’t drive the career path as hard as I once did. I know I can, but my priorities are different. I’ve made enough to leave a legacy. No longer looking to be top dog.

I retired as chef at 47. And then went back 3 years later at 50. Now, at 53, I realize that I am chef. That’s what I love, that’s what I do. I also got married at 50 for the first/last time. And I sold my house and moved across the country in the middle of the pandemic. It wasn’t a crisis as much as a rebirth with urgency. The career change in the middle only reaffirmed my position as chef.

I walked out of my workplace and swore I’d never be a manager of anything again unless I was the sole owner. I walked into a local community college and started my prerequisites for nursing School. Someone said, “Midlife crisis?” and I replied, “I went back to school!, I didn’t buy a Corvette!” LoL I was 45. I changed my entire life. I learned more in two years than any two years of my life with the exception of birth to age two. Lol so,… maybe it was a midlife crisis but it paid off

I won’t lie – knowing that others in my age group dealt with this struggle, this restlessness, this vague internal anguish for something new and different and more satisfying, well, it helped me feel better about what I was going through. That I am not alone and just being flaky – this “crisis,” or whatever you want to call it, this damn thing is real. But it doesn’t have to be devastating, lead nowhere, or cause you to blow up your life negatively. This mid-life turning point is a time to shed all the vanities and straight jackets that keep us running in place and be honest with ourselves.

That honesty meant a revelation about what I already knew I was born to do: write about food. I have been a food writer and researcher for nearly a decade, starting with this blog (which has had several iterations over the years). I attend food conferences and am a member of several food-related associations; most of my books are about food politics and food-related travel. And all of this time and expense has been, for the most part, on my own dime and time. I did these things because I loved it (my day jobs have been communications, technical writing, and editing).

One of the best jobs I ever had was a few years back as a food writer and restaurant critic for a then-popular weekly indy newspaper in the Triangle area in N.C. It was a side gig, the pay was crap, and I had to do most of the writing, interviewing, eating, and drinking at night and on the weekends. Eventually, I decided to pursue money and corporate titles and dropped the food writing to focus on said ambitions. Looking back on this decision now, it seems ridiculous, given that I don’t even know time is passing when I am writing about something I care about. I never procrastinate about putting pen to paper. If that ain’t a sign as to what I was born to do, I don’t know what is. People, PAY ATTENTION TO THE SIGNS and don’t push them to the side, or you will end up in places you don’t want to be.

All this is to say that this year, I have picked up my food writing again and devoted more and more time to my blog on Southern food culture in the U.S. South (where I grew up). Here in my 50s, I have had to be honest with myself – I need to step up my game if I want to be a full-time food writer and end my days pondering in poetic language the wonders of a cross between a biscuit and an empanada (I am from the South and half-Mexican, so you know, this shizz is important). Also, there is a place in Wilmington, NC, that sells chorizo and egg biscuit empanadas – I’m saving the details of that for another blog article.

This week, I decided to begin a Culinary diploma at a local college. I am going ALL IN so that I can better understand how food is prepared, the ins and outs of the restaurant business (I am utterly fascinated by these complex entities that we cannot live without), and get a sense of life IN the kitchen and back of house (as opposed to my favorite place to languish, the front of house at a primo table with a glass of wine). I am dedicating myself to sharing this mid-life journey with you for several reasons:

• The sheer joy of cooking
• To help others who might also be struggling with a nagging wonder, “IS THAT ALL THERE IS?”
  In the immortal lyrics of Peggy Lee:
  Is that all there isIs that all there is? If that’s all there is my friends Then let’s keep dancing Let’s break out the booze and have a ball If that’s all there is
• To be a more informed and knowledgeable food writer
• I want to finally be able to correctly use a Nakiri knife and figure out what in the hell do with a paring knife
• I gotta master how to fry shrimp – it’s my favorite food on the planet right after hot buttered grits (which I am indeed a master at making)

So, for now, that’s all there is – I am about to embark on this chapter in my life. I shall use this as a journal for each day of my coursework and share cooking and food-related revelations with you. In my excitement to prep for classes (which begin next week), I bought a spill-, grease-, and water-proof stone paper notebook for taking notes while in the “lab.” I feel like a kid about to start the first day of school (except I WANT to go to school this time – that wasn’t always the case, LOL).

And if you want to post a message about your own “mid-life” moments of revelation, I’ll share those with our readers as well. Because this is as much a discussion about redefining or realigning yourself as it is about food and cooking.
Here we go, folks…YEE HAW!
(P.S. I have many friends who own restaurants, so, to you good folks, if you ever get in a tight and need someone to come in one evening and chop some salad or do some basic cooking stuff, call me, and if I am available, I’ll come help out. I only ask for an end-of-shift glass of wine for payment.)