by Angela Perez

I have the McDonald’s app on my phone. I love their buttermilk biscuits and the app lets me get great deals on my favorite breakfast sandwich: a sausage and cheese biscuit slathered in strawberry jelly. My Southern friends and I often debate what is the best fast food biscuit. I am in the minority because I prefer McDonald’s biscuits over Bojangles (a North Carolina institution), and even Biscuitville (another beloved North Carolina favorite. I do like their biscuits and gravy). I know, I know, I will be accused of heresy by my fellow Southerners. But I stand by my choice.

The McDonald’s biscuit is just the right amount of greasy and crunchy on the outside with a nice, moist heft that never crumbles. I even like their sausage better than the sausage from Bojangles, which has a funky seasoning that puts it in second place. But, I’ll admit, grease, heft, and pork flavors aside, the daily cheap biscuit deals and an app that lets me build up points towards free food, well, that McDonald’s app does lure me in over the competitors. My God – I am the quintessential American consumer. Oh, well.

I was checking out the daily deals on my Mickey D’s app when I noticed a neon-green announcement at the top of the landing page: “Order and make the SURF and TURF – only available in the app.” These “secret” menu items are available exclusively in the app (not on the physical drive-thru and in-house menu). They are considered “hacks,” creative combos inspired by TikToks that customers have made of their favorite ways to doctor up their favorite McDonald’s food items. For example, at Bojangles, I order the grits (even though I am pretty sure they are instant) and put them on the sausage and cheese biscuit. I do it every single time. Why don’t restaurants offer breakfast sandwiches with grits slathered on them? God knows, I love that combo so much, I…I digress.
NOTE: for these menu items, you order each one separately and make it yourself so essentially McDonald’s is providing you with the idea and makes it easy for you to put it together by providing you all of the “ingredients” for a special deal. This makes sense because employees making specialty items at a fast-food joint would slow down service.
Back to the app. “Hmmm…what is this Surf and Turf?” I wondered. I clicked the button and lo and behold, will artery-clogging wonders never cease? Okay, here’s the secret menu:

1. The Surf and Turf
   “It’s beef. It’s fish. It’s beef and fish. This fusion of undeniable classics brings together the Double Cheeseburger and the Filet-O-Fish. Get this menu hack only in the app along with free medium Fries and a soft drink.”
2. The Hash Brown McMuffin
   “Why take a bite of Hash Browns, then a bite of McMuffin, when you can take a bite of both at the same time? The menu hack of Hash Browns inside a Sausage McMuffin with Egg is a hit and a great way to start your day.”
3. The Crunchy Double [Editor’s note: I am going to try this one, though I feel the guilt of doing so already flooding my body simply by contemplating it.]
   “This is the sandwich plot twist you didn’t know you were missing. Go in for the classic Double Cheeseburger taste and end up with the tasty surprise of Chicken McNuggets with tangy BBQ sauce. Wow.”
4. And the big kahuna, the mac daddy: By Land, Air, and Sea
   “Cover all bases and cravings with this menu hack of a Big Mac, a McChicken, and a Filet-O-Fish.^. It might float. It might fly. It might take a walk. Take a bite and enjoy.”

So, folks, admit it to me. Would you try any of these? Would you? Could you?
I’m also curious if you have any hacks of your own, a unique combo you make when you get fast food. And, please, if you don’t eat fast food, we don’t need to need to read your self-righteous goings on in the comments.
Leave you favorite combo in the comments section and I’ll compile a list of them for a future article. Might even try them myself. Might even make a TikTok of it. Or of me eating a hot McDonald’s apple pie (wink, wink). Oh, yeah, I forgot to admit. I love those, too.